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RUBY profile (must be logged in)
Pioneer
Dancing 9-5, For Lennon
Join Date: 11-17-2005
post: 5989 | REAL dad Vs. STEP dad | 01-14-2006 5:57:43 pm |
| Hi Tad,
This is tough! Personally I think Bill as a matured adult should step up and said: "Let's not rush into anything, let Bekah adjust the new living arrangement first, whatever she wants to call me, she'll call me." Something like that.
Lily-bean/Nellie
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Mrs. Harriet Oleson profile (must be logged in)
Pioneer
,
Join Date: 08-27-2005
post: 5297 | 01-14-2006 6:06:29 pm |
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bethandmanly profile (must be logged in)
Moderator
Massachusetts, USA
Join Date: 08-12-2005
post: 4244 | 01-14-2006 6:09:24 pm |
| I think it should be up to Bekah to decide what she calls her step-dad. My son, John was 18 months old when his father and I separated. Soon after our separation I began dating Paul, and we got married in 2000. John's father has stayed in his life for almost the entire 16 years since we broke up.
John went back and forth between what he should call Paul. Since his dad was around, he didn't feel comfortable calling Paul "Dad". Usually he referred to him as Paul and sometimes he called him his other dad.
When Paul and I decided to get married, John went back and forth about whether he wanted Paul to adopt him and about whether he should change his last name. Ultimately, he ended up keeping his last name and did not ask Paul to legally adopt him. But that has never changed how close of a relationship they have had over the years.
I think Bekah's mother will end up regretting it if she forces her daughter to call her step-dad something she does not want to. It might become an obstacle in creating a good relationship between them. But I also don't think Tucker should try to interfere, because that could cause Bekah to feel like she must choose between loving her real father or her step-dad, and that could really backfire.
Just my not so humble thoughts. I hope it all works out.
Cheryl
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RUBY profile (must be logged in)
Pioneer
Dancing 9-5, For Lennon
Join Date: 11-17-2005
post: 5989 | 01-14-2006 6:33:35 pm |
| Tad, too many adults make mistakes by rushing into things then later on regret it, the kids ending being confused and HURT!
I'm with my boyfriend for 3 years now, my 2 girls' father is NOT in the picture (it's a long story), I never told my girls to call my boyfriend "daddy" and until otherwise, it should be the way it is right now. KIDS SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST!
I wish the best for your friend Tucker.
Lily
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flatbroke4ever profile (must be logged in)
Pioneer
IN, USA
Join Date: 11-17-2005
post: 4126 | 01-14-2006 3:23:51 am |
| Personally, I'm a little biased. My 16 year old daughter lives with her Mom, and she's had to call more men dad than I can count. I say it should be up to the young'un. I think a lot of women (and men, for that matter) force this on kids for their own benefit. I've never asked or told my daughter to call my wife anything. But it's a double standard. My daughter has to call all these men "Dad" but if she called my wife "Mom", she'd be in trouble with her mother.
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flatbroke4ever profile (must be logged in)
Pioneer
IN, USA
Join Date: 11-17-2005
post: 4126 | 01-18-2006 12:14:27 am |
| Hey, no problem Tadpole..my advice may stink..but I'm always willing to give it! lol
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